You grieve the death of your spouse no matter the degree of love, or the length of the marriage. The person you were married to is now gone from this earth. Other than the obvious matters of organ donation or not, and all the funeral arrangements there are many other decisions that crop up during the time of grief. The general advise given to many grieving widows is to try not to make decisions that are important and irrevocable for at least 6 months to a year following the death. Many of the material things you shared are connected to decisions.

Decisions that should wait involve your home, changing lifestyles such as getting a job when you are used to being at home, going back to school, paying off your mortgage etc., all can wait until you have properly grieved. Your emotions will be up and down during this time period. They will eventually level off so that you can once again make levelheaded decisions.

What is necessary to do right away after the death of a spouse?

Deciding What Phone Calls to Make:

There are calls that should be made immediately upon the death of a spouse. Calls that should be made are notification calls to close family, friends, church clergy, and to the funeral home. You will also need to call the attorney if one was used to take care of any wills made by the spouse that died.

Once the funeral has taken place there are other calls that should be made. These calls are the ones that pertain to financial matters such as retirement funds, if the spouse was employed at time of death then the employer should be notified regarding any wages still due, accrued and unpaid vacations time, sick pay, or if appropriate any death or retirement benefits. The social Security office will need to be contacted for benefits to be initiated and also insurance agents should be notified so that life insurance benefits claim forms can be started. Banks and other financial institutions, brokerage houses and any other financial accounts in which the spouse had ownership should be contacted. If there were any trusts, the trustee needs to be notified. If the individual was a Veteran, the Veterans Affairs office will need to be called. If there was a living trust or no probate transfer, or a small estate, a probate may not be necessary; otherwise if no provisions were made probate will be needed. Credit card companies will also need to be notified regarding the death of the cardholder. They will tell you to destroy the spouse's cards if they were in the spouse's name only. If the credit cards are in both names, then you will be able to use them, but the company may request that you initiate a new application. There may be death benefits awarded from certain credit card companies.

What will help you make these decisions?

* There are documents that should be on hand or gathered together when making certain decisions following the death of a spouse.

* These documents are:

* Will

* Trust

* Letters of instruction

* Any Life insurance policies

* Any retirement plans

* IRAs

* Birth Certificates

* Military Discharge Papers

* Marriage License

* Deeds on any real property that was owned by the deceased spouse

* Any vehicle registrations for vehicles, trailers or recreational vehicles that the deceased spouse owned

* Any financial account statements

* Tax returns from the past few years

* Any Outstanding Loans

* A list of all outstanding debts owed by the spouse including any loans, mortgages, credit card bills, utility bills etc.

* Social security card

* List of assets at time of death including any personal or business statements