Death makes people uncomfortable and just the thought of dying can cause a seemingly normal person to become apprehensive, uncomfortable and even down right frightened. The thought of dying whether it is your own death or that of someone else tends to bring your mortality right to the forefront.

Some people seem to embrace the dying process as a right of passage, a normal part of life, even if the cause may not be so normal. Others though shy away from death and therefore, tend to hold themselves back from a friend or family member who may be dying. For this reason, some people who are dying report that they feel alone because of this fear that others have. The only thing they want, what anyone would want, is family and friends who are there to make the last days of life less isolated.

The Difficulty People Have with a Dying Person

A few reasons exist as to why many people have a hard time being around someone who is dying. Their mortality staring them in the face is one factor of course. The thought of involving yourself and risking the chance of breaking down is another. Guilty feelings often come into play as well, especially if you are close with the family member or friend who is dying. The guilty feelings stem from thinking that something could have been done to prevent the eventual death such as visiting one more specialist or urging them to get that physical earlier than they did.

This difficulty you may have with someone dying can turn into a bigger problem. You may avoid interacting with them and their family. Speaking your feelings and acknowledging that they are dying is also hard to do. Unable to initiate personal contact like a hug or holding a hand is often part of the difficulty.

Another factor in avoiding dealing with the process of dying is what is causing the eventual death. Is it a medical condition brought on by poor lifestyle choices or by the deviousness of Mother Nature? Is the death occurring to someone you perceive as too young to die? Babies, young children and young adults fall into this category. After all, you sort of expect someone older to pass one sooner than later but not someone of the younger generations.

Difficulty in dealing with someone dying could also be due to your over-sensitivity or some other condition like depression. Some people are so empathetic, so emotional that the thought of visiting with someone who is dying is too overwhelming to handle. If you are like this, you may either avoid the person all together or your time together may be concise and quick. A dying person would likely want a bit more contact and may feel hurt by your avoidance.

Getting Past the Discomfort of Someone Dying

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to dealing with someone you knows dying. Be honest in how you are feeling - fear, anger, helplessness, guilt. By being open about your feelings, the person dying will at least understand your behavior and take it into account during your visits with them.

Opening up with your feelings is the first step in getting past that discomfort of someone close to you dying. From there, you may have to play it by ear. Some are easily accepting and won't push you to visit often, instead being grateful for any time you choose to spend with them. Others may not wish to have frequent visits, preferring their own company to that of others who are fearful of the dying process.

When both sides to the dying process share their feelings, compromise is often the best policy. You may not be able to handle visiting everyday like your dying loved one would like but both sides acknowledge they want what is best for each other. From this point understands each other's views and making the time you do have together extra special.